I was just watching a morning tv show with my grandmother, who watches every day, where acclaimed doctors talk about a variety of topics that relate to health, healthy lifestyles, and nutrition. One of today's topics was: how to prevent your husband from cheating. This was directed toward women and backed by various scientific facts. …
To begin, let me dissect that statement - "how to prevent your husband from cheating":
"prevent" - as though it's the woman's role to act in such a way that doesn't allow her husband to cheat…because obviously it's not the husband's choice to go and cheat on his wife…obviously it's the wife's fault
"husband" - note that the word 'husband' was used - not boyfriend, lover, or friend with benefits. Rather, it's the one that swore "'till death do we part" that you should be worries about cheating on you.
also, 100% heteronormative - as though homosexuality isn't a thing that exists…
So the host says this title and the entire studio audience (including women) react completely naturally: Duh, obviously this is something that we would talk about because it's a totally natural problem that can be solved by the actions of women that they (women) haven't learned yet. We all needed to come and watch this scientific show to find out how to lead a life, which doesn't allow the husband to cheat on his wife. Obviously. Thank goodness we came or else we would have been living in families where the wife wasn't acting according to this scientific code that maintains harmony in her relationship with her husband and doesn't make him cheat on her. Phew!
And if intro isn't enough, well don't worry, that's just the beginning. Let's get to the scientific backing of statement.
First off, let's take a man who comes back home from work tired and hungry, and he decides to sit on the couch. Warning! When a man is immobile, sitting on the couch, his levels of testosterone decrease due to his inactivity. Lower levels of testosterone make him feel less manly and more inadequate. So attention all women! If you see your man sitting on the couch, go up to him and cuddle him. Make him feel like a man again and remind him that you are his. Then, his testosterone levels will increase and stabilize not only his manliness but your relationship.
Thank goodness! Now all women know what to do when they see their husbands sitting on the couch. It's not the husband's fault that he (apparently) feels less manly when immobile; it's obviously the women's job to know that this hormone-decrease naturally happens(?) and in that instance, to go and make those levels rise.
Warning! Women: don't let your husbands sit on the couch… because then he will cheat on you…and that will be your fault for not cuddling with him… basic knowledge…
Second instance: the most obvious reason a husband cheats on his wife is because the wife is getting older and therefore uglier.
Ah! The truth is finally revealed!
We all know that there is no other reason for which a man gets married other than the youthful beauty of his wife. He doesn't care about her personality at all! The one and only thing that matter is that she looks good. Because looks are forever and the soul is just an appetizer to the whole woman. But then, this strange thing happens (that is not a natural process and we take every measure to prevent it from occurring) called aging. Noooo! Once you (the woman) starts aging, that's the end of your relationship. You start getting wrinkles, your youthful beauty disappears, and all you turn into is an old hag that is not attractive to your man. Then what do you think happens? Well since he married you for your beauty, he obviously becomes uninterested in you and naturally goes and cheats on you! Once again, it's your(!) (the woman's) fault! The woman is the one that is to blame. She should have stepped back, looked at herself, and said: "Ew! I am so old and ugly looking! If I don't start looking more youthful, my husband is going to cheat on me." Ah, the enlightenment. The woman realizes that she needs to start growing young, and the scientific way to do that is…hormones! So women, when you starts noticing your old age being reflected on your face, go take some hormones, restore that youthful beauty, and then you won't have to worry about your husband cheating on you. You're welcome.
I am so glad that I spent an hour in the morning watching such an enlightening tv program. Now I know all the measures to take in order to prevent my future husband from cheating on me. I know that if my husband cheat's on me, it's my fault, and I should have prevented that from happening. Thanks, Doctors, you just helped me save my marriage!
To begin, let me dissect that statement - "how to prevent your husband from cheating":
"prevent" - as though it's the woman's role to act in such a way that doesn't allow her husband to cheat…because obviously it's not the husband's choice to go and cheat on his wife…obviously it's the wife's fault
"husband" - note that the word 'husband' was used - not boyfriend, lover, or friend with benefits. Rather, it's the one that swore "'till death do we part" that you should be worries about cheating on you.
also, 100% heteronormative - as though homosexuality isn't a thing that exists…
So the host says this title and the entire studio audience (including women) react completely naturally: Duh, obviously this is something that we would talk about because it's a totally natural problem that can be solved by the actions of women that they (women) haven't learned yet. We all needed to come and watch this scientific show to find out how to lead a life, which doesn't allow the husband to cheat on his wife. Obviously. Thank goodness we came or else we would have been living in families where the wife wasn't acting according to this scientific code that maintains harmony in her relationship with her husband and doesn't make him cheat on her. Phew!
And if intro isn't enough, well don't worry, that's just the beginning. Let's get to the scientific backing of statement.
First off, let's take a man who comes back home from work tired and hungry, and he decides to sit on the couch. Warning! When a man is immobile, sitting on the couch, his levels of testosterone decrease due to his inactivity. Lower levels of testosterone make him feel less manly and more inadequate. So attention all women! If you see your man sitting on the couch, go up to him and cuddle him. Make him feel like a man again and remind him that you are his. Then, his testosterone levels will increase and stabilize not only his manliness but your relationship.
Thank goodness! Now all women know what to do when they see their husbands sitting on the couch. It's not the husband's fault that he (apparently) feels less manly when immobile; it's obviously the women's job to know that this hormone-decrease naturally happens(?) and in that instance, to go and make those levels rise.
Warning! Women: don't let your husbands sit on the couch… because then he will cheat on you…and that will be your fault for not cuddling with him… basic knowledge…
Second instance: the most obvious reason a husband cheats on his wife is because the wife is getting older and therefore uglier.
Ah! The truth is finally revealed!
We all know that there is no other reason for which a man gets married other than the youthful beauty of his wife. He doesn't care about her personality at all! The one and only thing that matter is that she looks good. Because looks are forever and the soul is just an appetizer to the whole woman. But then, this strange thing happens (that is not a natural process and we take every measure to prevent it from occurring) called aging. Noooo! Once you (the woman) starts aging, that's the end of your relationship. You start getting wrinkles, your youthful beauty disappears, and all you turn into is an old hag that is not attractive to your man. Then what do you think happens? Well since he married you for your beauty, he obviously becomes uninterested in you and naturally goes and cheats on you! Once again, it's your(!) (the woman's) fault! The woman is the one that is to blame. She should have stepped back, looked at herself, and said: "Ew! I am so old and ugly looking! If I don't start looking more youthful, my husband is going to cheat on me." Ah, the enlightenment. The woman realizes that she needs to start growing young, and the scientific way to do that is…hormones! So women, when you starts noticing your old age being reflected on your face, go take some hormones, restore that youthful beauty, and then you won't have to worry about your husband cheating on you. You're welcome.
I am so glad that I spent an hour in the morning watching such an enlightening tv program. Now I know all the measures to take in order to prevent my future husband from cheating on me. I know that if my husband cheat's on me, it's my fault, and I should have prevented that from happening. Thanks, Doctors, you just helped me save my marriage!
Oh, so funny and sad at the same time.
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